prolific produce

i jokingly tell people that if they're planning on entering our garden, it would probably be to their advantage to learn how to wield a machete first. in all honesty, though, it really isn't that much of a stretch. our cucumber vines alone have literally taken over the space, turning our modest, 8x10ish ft enclosure into one huge tangle.

speaking of cucumbers, chad surprised me by sending this picture to my phone last week:

not bad for us first-time cucumber growers.

actually, with the exception of tilling the ground and sewing the seeds (for which i take absolutely no credit -- that was all chad), we really haven't had to put much work in. the garden's pretty much sustained itself all summer. there was a short time early on when we had to keep plucking maple saplings for fear that their root systems would interfere with the veggies', but the garden eventually got so big, we figured it would choke the rest of them out on its own. and it seems to have done just that.

in our garden are cucumbers, wax beans, peppers, corn, carrots, green onions and tomatoes, and so far, chad's harvested from the first three. the corn was over both our heads a few weeks ago, and although the cucumber vines have since dragged the stalks down to knee level, the cobs themselves are still developing, though likely inedible. our carrots and onions are currently lost somewhere in the sea of green. i've made it my personal mission this weekend to try and rescue them from almost certain suffocation -- that is, if chad hasn't already done so. as for our tomatoes, they're not quite ripe yet, but have gone just about as wild as the cucumbers. they outgrew their cages long ago and have actually begun making their way over the enclosure and out into the yard. we also have two plants growing outside the garden -- both results of a happy mistake. it happened like this: chad had let a cherry tomato plant go to seed in a pot outside last year. it ended up sitting outside all winter, and by the time spring rolled around, the plant had rotted completely away, so he used the leftover dirt to fill in a couple holes in the yard (one in front and one in back). at one point while he was mowing, he noticed there were things growing in both places. thinking they were weeds, he mowed over them. when they started to grow back, he investigated a little further and discovered that they were actually tomato plants! he decided to leave them where they were rather than transfer them to the garden. after all, he told me, 'they seem to like it there.'

we're going to have tomatoes coming out of our ears.

looking forward to the crop.

not so much the canker sores.

long overdue

i've been reading up a bit on blogging lately -- reacquainting myself with the medium, so to speak. somehow, i didn't see a need for this when i started blogging back in 2004. back then, it seemed pretty self-explanatory. i treated my first blog the same way i would have a written diary and that worked okay for me for a while. actually, for someone who was still in college and had a full work load, i posted surprisingly often (especially at first). around that same time, i also started becoming more involved with my volunteer org and decided to start a blog about that, too. then, about a year later, i started 'photoblogging', which is actually how this blog came to be. that was before i discovered flickr, of course. soon after that, a friend introduced me to myspace and i became hooked.

subsequently, all my other blogs fell by the wayside.

lately, however, even my myspace blog has grown a little 'tired'. and the problem isn't that no one reads it. i have a devoted yet small readership, for which i'm very grateful. no. i think i’ve just become lazy. i haven’t been writing creatively as much; that could have something to do with it. perhaps those muscles have begun to atrophy? at any rate, i’ve decided it’s time i step foot out of my little comfort bubble and start writing for a broader audience.

most of what i’ve been blogging about lately has been (for lack of a better word) fluff. space filler. too many times have i looked over what i've posted and thought, 'i could be writing so much better than this!’

and then i don’t.

seth godin was right when he said, 'If you're going to blog successfully for months or years, sooner or later you need to actually say something.'

so i've been examining my daily reads in an effort to try and pin down what makes them so gosh-darned appealing and how they might act as a model for my own blogging efforts.

here's some of what i've learned so far:

i believe harvest bird's blog was one of the first i ever read. we were both diarylanders at the time. i was still in college. she was/still is a college professor. i enjoyed reading about her experiences with students and teaching. she said i brought back memories of when she used to be a student herself. i think of her as a sort of long-distance mentor. she's since moved to wordpress and it's been there that her blog has really found its wings. everything's organized into handy tabs and sidenotes. her posts themselves are quite literally at the center -- the main attraction. her writing is both articulate and accessible. she treats even the simplest of subjects with the kind of care and attention only a true academian could provide. in other words, she knows her shit and it shows. she remains one of the most intriguing personalities i've come across on the web, and the fact that she still lists me on her blogroll is an honor, i must say.

hints i could take from harvest bird:

• no super-flashy layouts. a blog's focus should be its posts.
  
• pictures can offer a nice diversion, but there's no need to bog your blog (and i mean one that's primarily about the text) down with them. that's what photoblogs and flickr are for.
  
• tagging works. i know from my experience with it over at flickr. don't know that there's a way to do it in blogger, but if there is, you can rest assured that i will find it.

now let's take a look at neil gaiman's journal. the man's a whirlwind of activity -- traveling, speaking, signing, partaking in all manner of creative collaboration, and yet somehow he still finds time to write. and not just for his blog. his prolificacy never ceases to amaze me. he has an uncanny ability to make the mundane seem almost magical.

i mean, when you can write something as fluidly simple and emotion-inducing as this, it's a wonder you're not sequestered by some alien race simply for being too damn wonderful for human consumption:

I was convinced that all was doom and despair and hopeless and I would
never write my way out of this and there weren't enough hours in the day or days
in the week or anything when I finally got out of the house and went down to the
bottom of the garden to write, and discovered, on the way, masses of late and
forgotten raspberries on the raspberry canes. So I stopped and ate raspberries,
and you can't be properly miserable or grumpy eating sun-warmed raspberries
you're picking and eating yourself.

I'm just saying. You can't. (from Elfless in Gaza)

hints i could take from neil:

• again -- the simpler, the better.
  
• i like how he will sometimes supplement his posts with fleeting thoughts and other things of note. it adds some additional interestingness. not to mention a bit of interactivity (i.e. linkage, etc.).
  
• you'll also notice that a lot of his posts are peppered with bits of other peoples' emails, questions, comments, etc., which he then proceeds to (gasp!) respond to. you can't not respect a writer that's as devoted to his readers as they are to him. not to mention it's a clever way of generating content.

then, of course, there's postsecret. what else can i say other than there's something undeniably addictive about that place? they knew what they were doing when they chose to post only one day a week. when you build your blog on such an unprecedented premise, people will come back. you can pretty much bet your life on it.

these are just a few of the blogs i read. also some of the first i ever read. i highly recommend you check them as well as the rest of the folks in my blogroll out (see right).

i've often wondered what it would be like to invite them all to dinner. it's likely to remain a fantasy, but it's fun to think about nonetheless. oh, the trouble we'd get into ... *sigh*

to sum up, i can't expect anyone to read, or even see this blog unless i make myself visible, and that means leaving comments, starting dialogues, etc. -- something i’ve neglected to do outside of my myspace. it also means i have to start remembering to link back here from now on rather than to my myspace page. if people want to see that they can get to it from here. i figure this place will be more beneficial to me in the long run anyway.

this doesn't mean that i'm no longer going to be posting over at myspace. i don’t know how i’m going to manage both blogs yet, but i do know that i plan to. somehow. maybe.

more soon.

trashy fashion

there's nothing quite like time constraint to spark one's creativity.

tonight marks the highly anticipated annual garbage bag duct tape fashion show party. for those of you who are scratching your heads, allow me to elaborate. every year (in addition to the chili solstice), the lovely paulio hosts this little pre-halloween soiree. the only thing he asks of those planning to attend is that they construct their own costumes from (you guessed it) garbage bags and duct tape!

click here for a taste.

it's my first time attending, and although i've known about this party for a few weeks now, it took me until last night to actually start working on my costume. i've spent more time visualizing it, mulling over the details, the problems i might encounter, etc. sometimes, though, it's just a matter of putting scissors to garbage bag, or in this case, landscape lining -- a perfectly acceptable and much sturdier substitute, if i may say so.

i'm actually quite proud of what i've produced thus far. now to put the finishing touches on it before tonight.

a tsunami of bunnies

disgustingly cute stop motion commercial filmed in NYC for sony bravia televisions.

return mission

so i've been away for quite some time, and i'm happy to say that i'm in a much better place now than i was when i left. not only am i in a relationship with an extraordinary man, but i've also seen promotion within my volunteer org and have recently begun taking steps toward getting this whole writing thing off the ground.

'so what made you come back?' you might ask. that's a good question -- one i asked myself, in fact. here's the long answer:

this and my other blog both met their seeming ends in 2005. we won't get into all the details just now. suffice it to say, i was being exposed to sides of myself i had never seen before and it so shocked me, that i withdrew into a period of semi-seclusion and self-discovery. the initial purpose of this blog (and for my continued posts over at diaryland) was actually to try and alleviate the pain of my situation. 'write it out,' they say. 'turn it into something creative.' and i tried. but rather than be the therapy sessions i had hoped for, my blogs became nothing more than breeding grounds for my growing hatred. it got to a point where i was convinced i was actually turning into the very thing that had twisted my reality, my perceptions. i felt incredibly inadequate.

we've all heard the term 'dark side.' for me, it wasn't so much a place as a part of me. i somehow always knew it was there hiding, but had never actually come face to face with those demons inside. let's just say i never knew the kinds of feelings i was capable of.

this getting to know my demons stuff continued even after i had met and started seeing someone new. the trouble came in trying to find a balance -- a balance between the loving, nurturing person i knew myself to be and the white hot angry being i had become after the awareness of what my former had done to me (of what i had allowed him to do to me) truly began to set in. there was also the meek, defenseless little girl he had molded me into; she was the hardest to deal with.

it's been a long, hard battle, but i have to say, my boyfriend's been spectacularly supportive throughout every stage of the healing process. he remained by my side when i relapsed. he told me it was okay when i wasn't sure if a relationship was what i wanted. told me to let him know when i was ready (he'd wait). i'd be lying if i said we haven't had problems. we've seen our share of ups and downs in the nearly two years that we've been together. we've even seen what we thought might be the end of things -- twice. but we've managed to pull through it all and become closer in the process. i continue to be amazed by that man.

anyway, getting back to my reason for coming back. basically, i didn't want people to think that's how it ended. i'm the same as i've always been, but i'm also more different than ever if that makes any sense at all. i'm not about regret. i don't deny what happened. had i known better at the time, would i have done things differently? sure. would i have stood up for myself more? of course. but i didn't know any better. or at least, that's what i had been led to believe. i consider myself lucky that i was able to keep my identity alive after all that. i had been so cut off from myself and everything i held dear, that i wasn't sure if i'd ever be able to reclaim it.

second, i need a blog that's separate from that myspace place. when used right (and when it works) myspace can be a great networking tool, but it also can't escape its exceedingly garish image. and let's face it, people - sometimes less is more.

that's all for now.
hello to whomever might be reading. it's good to be back.

laced up ladies
(jen, ali & me)

adoration
(julie & gray)